CAUTION: THIS POST IS A BIT OF A DOWNER. So much going on…and with summer in full swing, it can be difficult to manage life’s distractions as you move forward as an independent author. For me, I actually feel guilty when I am not working. I have so much that needs to be done, but the truth is I am having trouble staying motivated. I feel like I’m drowning. I had all these plans laid out, and now they are all either gone or on hold for who knows how long.
As my ongoing battle with depression continues, I find it increasingly more difficult not to feel like I am all alone. That affects every aspect of my life, both personal and professional. Daily I have to fight back feelings of anger bordering on rage. I feel like I am in the middle of nowhere with nobody and nothing to ground myself.
Yeah…sort of a downer.
The thing is, every day I have to force myself to move forward. If you aren’t moving forward, then you are either stagnant, or going backward. Yet, every step is a struggle. Each morning I wake up with the feeling that the entire weight of the world is on my shoulders and nobody is stepping in to help me carry it.
My house, normally a source of pride, has fallen into a state of being such a mess that I cringe. Yet, not even my OCD has spurred me into action. I keep telling myself I need to get my puppy ready for her first show, but that means taking time away from work, and right now…I don’t feel like I can.
If you have ever felt this way…how did you break the cycle?